So, I thought it was time I updated my page about my various adventures. Its been a whirlwind year, singing with Harbour City Opera, leaving my steady job to work for myself, lots of writing, lots of freelance makeup- all in all a wonderful adventure!

When I was a little girl, I had several answers to the question ” what do you want to be when you grow up?” The top answers went like this:

1. I want to be onstage or tv singing/acting/talking

2. I want to do makeup ( to be fair, I actually told one lady I didn’t need to ‘become’ a makeup artist or singer – ‘because I already am one’)

3. I want to study literature and languages.

4. I want to be a philanthropist.

As an adult, I’ve often struggled with choosing what to do. It’s got to be said that singing and writing, in particular, are not known as super reliable career paths. Independent makeup artistry is a little better, but still not a steady job! It’s often seemed like an either/or. Should I go for the reliable route? Should I chase the dream? Should I give up and get a ‘normal’ job? I’ve often taken what appeared to be a ‘safe’ route only to make myself miserable- not rich, not thriving, just… getting by. This year has marked a big change for me, as I’ve had a little lightbulb moment. It’s pretty simple, but it goes like this. Have a go. Just have a go. At everything. Everything I like, everything I’m excited about, everything I’d genuinely like to do. All of it.

There is a parable in the Bible about using your talents, and it basically talks about doing the best you can with what you have. It tells a story about three servants, each are given a ‘talent’ to look after by their boss, who then leaves them to it. When the boss comes back, the servants who ‘had a go’ and did something with their talent are praised and given more talents and riches and groovy jobs, the one who just buried his talent for fear of failure gets massively told off, and his talent taken off him.

This story always seemed a bit harsh, I mean, lots of people get scared and don’t try. You shouldn’t be in trouble for being scared, surely. It only occurred to me recently that the opposite of fear is courage, and the antidote to fear is love. There are amazing stories of women lifting cars to rescue their children- their love for their children overrides their belief that they can’t do it, their fear of failure or injury, pretty much any obstacle in their way. Of course, they would feel afraid to lose their child, but the love factor enables them to use that energy for a courageous act, rather than immobilising them.

So it seems that being scared of failure is not the issue- it’s failing to love. If you love yourself enough, you’ll make every effort to have a life worth living. Even if it’s scary, or looks a bit impossible.

So, at the risk of sounding annoyingly new age, love yourself enough to have a go, at whatever it is you are talented at. I’m not saying you should quit your job tomorrow and move to a commune, but have a go, in whatever way you can. You might just get a surprise.

Ellen Malone.

Singer. Make Up Artist. Freelance Writer. Presenter. Glamazon at Large.

Harbour City Opera- Opera on Tour